Sharing stories

[Bahasa Indonesia]
Throughout the 11 days of the TB2 meditation, I spent 10 of them observing the noble silence. Noble silence means “silence of body, speech, and mind. Any form of communication with fellow student, whether by gestures, sign language, written notes, etc., is prohibited.

Participants may, however, speak with the teacher whenever necessary and they may approach the management with any problems related to food, accommodation, health, etc. But even these contacts should be kept to a minimum. We should cultivate the feeling that we are working in isolation.”

Surprisingly, not talking to the people around me was not my biggest challenge. Perhaps it was because I did not know them so well. We had just met and chatted several hours before so the emotional bond was not there yet.

My biggest challenge, I found, was the fact that I could not write and tell stories (verbal or in writing) to my friends.

I miss telling stories to my friends—to you—and sharing my impressions with them—with you. I miss my friends—miss you. It took 10 days of noble silence to help me realize how much sharing with my friends—with you—mean to me.

The hills and the clouds gave their second lesson:” Be patient. Wait until the process has finished, wait until it is all clear to you, then share your stories”.

The moon, which hanged around until 7Am that day, augmented the lesson: “The friends will still be there when you finish, waiting for your to return to them.”

The last night

[Bahasa Indonesia]
That night was the last night I stayed at Pacung for TB2. The day after that we would end our noble silence, the meditation session would end, and I would move on.

So late at night, I sat at my porch staring at the darkened garden and the glorious night sky before me.

I smiled and thanked them—the nights, the moon, the stars, the ponds, the fountain, the rice field, the garden, the animals, the wind—for the blissful experience. The only friends I have during my night prayers.

It was a clear night. I had never seen so many stars in Indonesia’s night sky. No moon though. I wonder where it went. It did not matter. I knew it was there. I smiled at the moon nonetheless.

I thought about going to bed but something inside told me to stay just a bit longer. So I continued to sit and converse with the familiarly warm nocturnal nature.

Then the night gave its final performance: A bright—and what seemed to be colorful—shooting star. Quick! Make a wish!

I could not help but smiled. You are too kind.

It has said its last piece. The night then allowed me to sleep.

Watch nature unfold

[Bahasa Indonesia]
How can this..

Turn into this..

And to this..

Before fully blooming into this..

Watch nature unfold its beauty.

X marks the spot

[Bahasa Indonesia]
See the picture on the left? The picture was taken at the place where I stayed in Pacung, Bali, during my meditation with Bali Usada.

When you stand exactly on that spot and face to the lowest point where the two hills meet, you can hear the sound of water flowing from three different sources: the small river in front of you, from the pond behind you, and the fountain on your right.

But you cannot see them. You cannot hear them either.

That magnificent spot was built by nature for me. Especially for me. And I am not sharing!

Fly again

[Bahasa Indonesia]
I was sitting down at the dining table when I saw a bird fell. It fell down hard. I extended my neck, trying to look what was wrong with the bird. It turned out that a couple of kids had thrown stone at him. *grrrhh*

The two children running enthusiastically to approach the bird. I watched them, unsure what to do. I just sat and watched.

Just as the two children were only about one meter from the bird, wooshhh, the bird flew. It flew strong, leaving the two children empty handed.

Too bad I was in my noble silence. Otherwise, I would have clapped and cheered at the bird. That is: Bird 1, Human 0.

In comedy, timing is everything, my friend. Timing is everything.

What is your intension?

[Bahasa Indonesia]
When you stood up in front of your client to defend your team, do you do that out of professionalism, out of love and care for the team, or out of anger to the client?

When you stop a father from hitting a child (God forbid), do you do that out of love to the child or out of disgust for the father?

When you shout “stop corruption!”, do you should in the name of justice and welfare for all, or out of hatred to the corrupts?

Anger, disgust, and hatred are negative emotions no matter what the reasons may be. They create scars in our souls. They taint even the best deeds. Take good care.

-from the talk delivered by Pak Merta Ade

Cocoon

[Bahasa Indonesia]
Do you know that caterpillar needs to find its own way out of its pupa to become a butterfly?

If, for instance, you have the good intension to help the caterpillar out by cutting its pupa, then the would-be butterfly would not have strong enough wing muscles to allow it to fly.

If you try to make it easy for it, the would-be butterfly would not go through that series of muscle training when it is crawling out of its pupa.

Sometimes you just need to do it and go through it yourself to really understand and build your bodily and mind muscles. *Justification mode on *

-from the talk delivered by Pak Merta Ade

Pic taken from here.

A chat with Pak Merta Ade

[Bahasa Indonesia]
I cannot remember when the last time a teacher (or supervisor) got more excited than myself about what I did. That was how I felt when I went to see my Bali Usada health meditation teacher Pak Merta Ade on my third day of TB2.

I went to his porch. When he saw me walking towards him, Pak Merta Ade got up and with a huge smile he looked me in the eyes and shook my hand firmly. “I am so glad to see you join TB2. You participated in TB1 and now TB2. Good. Very good,” he said excitedly. I felt honored.

The conversation went on. I told him about my challenges.

I told him about how I felt a lot of discomfort whenever I tried feeling the six characteristics of the earth element in my body.

I said that every time I got to that earth stage, I just moved on from one characteristic to another very fast.

Pak Merta said, “That means you are already sensitive enough to feel the element. Then if and when you feel you are ready, try to stay a little longer, feel the sensation, and sense the impermanence, that everything will eventually change.”

I was impressed how he managed to say it positively. He did not scolded me for dodging the discomfort I felt and say “You are wrong. That is not how you are supposed to do it. Don’t be so weak. Face the pain and discomfort.”

Instead, he used the words “when you feel you are ready.” There was not a single judgmental or negative word in the sentences.

That is why he is the teacher and I am the student ☺

A pact with God

[Bahasa Indonesia]
The first three days of the Tapa Brata were [pause, let me see if I can find a positive word for this] ‘the least pleasant’ for me.

The body and mind (or soul) were adjusting to this new lifestyle, activities, and schedule.

My body ached all over. There was a lack of (or rather, non-existence) of concentration. The feet went numb. The stomach got upset. The weather was chilling. The mind seemed unable to grasp about what it should do and feel during the meditation.

First day. Second day. Third day. It was honestly challenging and somewhat frustrating.

So at the night of Day 3, after everybody had returned to his or her room and I returned to mine, I sat down for a late night prayer and conversed with God.

I proposed a pact with Him. I told Him, more or less in these words, “Look, God, I am willing to go through this gladly if You want me to, but You have got to help me out here. Make this process easy for me.”

Yes, I am fair, straightforward, and stern even to Him.

I must remember this so-called prayer because it seemed quite effective.

Day 4, I woke up feeling determined. I told myself I had got to go through this. I felt like Po in Kungfu Panda when the four heroes gave him a (literally) hard-hitting ‘lesson’ during their first training session together.

Po fell down over and over again. Yet every single time he fell down, he got up again– looking all enthusiastic beyond common sense–and yelled, “Woo hoo! That was awesome. Let’s do it again!”

I felt like that. I promised myself that I would do my best, even if I could not concentrate 100% or the feet and back were aching.

Thus, the new ‘regime’ was put into place. I came to every single meditation session. I sat quietly throughout the 45-60 minute meditation session. I diligently dragged back my thought whenever it swayed away (for the thousandth time) during the meditation.

I did my prayers. I did my yoga practice. I walked around the garden to stretch my leg. I even folded my blanket, pashmina and jacket every time I finished the meditation session. I also promised myself that I would smile every time I started and ended a meditation.

That morning as I sat facing the hills during the sunrise, I felt God nodding to my proposed pact. The clouds lifted up from the hill nearest to me. Behind that hill, I can see another hill, and another hill, and yet another hill. Clarity. I smiled. They smiled back.

I went out of the dining area and looked up to the sky above. The moon was still there. It was seven o’clock in the morning and the moon was still there. It was as if the moon was gasping its last breath and pulling off its last strength to see how my conversation with God turned out, cheering and smiling at me all the way. I smiled. I shall be okay.

Static nature, dynamic experience

[Bahasa Indonesia]

This is where I spent my 11 TB2 meditation days.

It is amazing how such static picture of nature can provide such rich and dynamic experience. A new lesson every single day. Every single hour. Every single minute. Every single second. Depending how open we are to the experience.